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In this book review, I’ll detail why The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. is essential for anyone interested in understanding how trauma can affect their physical and mental health. This book was recommended to me by a friend studying to become a therapist and was instrumental in my understanding of the importance of therapy and mind-body awareness for my healing journey. It provided an understanding of how trauma can manifest as physical and psychological problems and how addressing these issues through mindful approaches can help achieve profound healing.
I gave it four stars because it is a complex read that can sometimes be heavy on scientific and medical jargon. Nevertheless, this book is invaluable if you seek an evidence-based approach to addressing difficult situations from childhood and beyond. It explains how trauma can affect the body, brain, and mind in detail and provides tools for identifying underlying causes and managing symptoms.
Overall, worth the read. Highly recommend!
Read also: When You’re Ready This Is How You Heal Book Review
Memorable Quotes from the Book
“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.”
BESSEL VAN DER KOLK M.D. (THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE)
“We have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body. This imprint has ongoing consequences for how the human organism manages to survive in the present. Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way mind and brain manage perceptions. It changes not only how we think and what we think about, but also our very capacity to think.”
BESSEL VAN DER KOLK M.D. (THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE)
“The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves.”
BESSEL VAN DER KOLK M.D. (THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE)
“Being traumatized means continuing to organize your life as if the trauma were still going on—unchanged and immutable—as every new encounter or event is contaminated by the past.”
BESSEL VAN DER KOLK M.D. (THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE)
“Psychologists usually try to help people use insight and understanding to manage their behavior. However, neuroscience research shows that very few psychological problems are the result of defects in understanding; most originate in pressures from deeper regions in the brain that drive our perception and attention. When the alarm bell of the emotional brain keeps signaling that you are in danger, no amount of insight will silence it.”
BESSEL VAN DER KOLK M.D. (THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE)
“In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past.”
BESSEL VAN DER KOLK M.D. (THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE)
“One day he told me that he’d spent his adulthood trying to let go of his past, and he remarked how ironic it was that he had to get closer to it in order to let it go.”
BESSEL VAN DER KOLK M.D. (THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE)
“One thing is certain: Yelling at someone who is already out of control can only lead to further dysregulation. Just as your dog cowers if you shout and wags his tail when you speak in a high singsong, we humans respond to harsh voices with fear, anger, or shutdown and to playful tones by opening up and relaxing. We simply cannot help but respond to these indicators of safety or danger.”
BESSEL VAN DER KOLK M.D. (THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE)
“For our physiology to calm down, heal, and grow we need a visceral feeling of safety. No doctor can write a prescription for friendship and love: These are complex and hard-earned capacities. You don’t need a history of trauma to feel self-conscious and even panicked at a party with strangers – but trauma can turn the whole world into a gathering of aliens.”
BESSEL VAN DER KOLK M.D. (THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE)
“It is especially challenging for traumatized people to discern when they are actually safe and to be able to activate their defenses when they are in danger.”
BESSEL VAN DER KOLK M.D. (THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE)
“Mindfulness not only makes it possible to survey our internal landscape with compassion and curiosity but can also actively steer us in the right direction for self-care.”
BESSEL VAN DER KOLK M.D. (THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE)
My Key Takeaways
1. Take the ACE test to know your risks for health issues based on childhood experiences
Many people blur the lines regarding trauma, especially without clear-cut abuse. But the reality is that in many cases, we tend to downplay our experiences, especially if our trauma is not considered “severe” compared to others.
But, it is essential to remember that any amount of trauma, no matter how small or subtle, can have a lasting impact on our mental and physical health.
Everyone experiences trauma differently, and it is essential to recognize the impact of your personal history.
This can be difficult for some, but the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) score can help you understand how your past may impact your present.
Many struggle with seemingly unexplainable health symptoms and difficulty coping with everyday issues. While unbeknownst to them, the physical manifestations will persist as long as the emotional source remains unaddressed.
So, if you’re struggling and want to learn more about healing yourself, start with your ACE score.
Once you know whether or not you at or above the threshold for possible negative affects of childhood situations, you can move forward and start to heal.
2. Safe relationships are healing
Safe relationships are integral for healing a traumatized nervous system. People who have experienced trauma often struggle to trust others, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
By creating safe relationships with supportive people, trauma survivors can begin to rewire their nervous system by building secure attachments with others.
This helps develop a sense of safety and stability that can help heal the trauma. When people feel secure, they can process their emotions more effectively, allowing them to move through the healing process.
Safe relationships can also provide comfort and understanding, fostering a sense of belonging and connection.
These connections provide a safe space for people to explore their feelings and experiences while providing a place of acceptance and validation.
With the support of secure relationships, those suffering from the adverse impacts of past experiences can take the steps needed to heal and move forward.
2. Find what works best for you and do more of that.
Many people may benefit significantly from therapy, while others may resonate better with the guidance of a life coach, or confiding in a well-intentioned, trusted friend.
Some have made great strides in dedicating themselves to their healing by reading, listening to podcasts, and learning about psychology and healthy coping skills.
Bottom line, there is no one size fits all approach to healing. If it helps you and is working for you -that’s all the proof you need.
3. Our inner dialogue often contributes to our suffering
The greatest source of our suffering is often the lies we tell ourselves. We lie to ourselves about our capabilities, worth, and potential.
Our inner dialogue can paralyze us from taking risks or trying something new.
We create stories that don’t reflect reality, believing them until we get stuck in a cycle of self-limiting beliefs.
We lie to ourselves about our relationships, placing unreasonable expectations on the people around us and becoming disappointed when they fail to meet them.
We lie about our pasts, believing who we defined and crippling us with guilt or shame.
And we lie to ourselves about what we deserve, often focusing on our flaws rather than what makes us special.
But, the truth is, these lies are a barrier between us and the life we want to live. We can only break down this barrier and create a life of joy, satisfaction, and purpose by recognizing and challenging these lies.
And becoming conscious of what we tell ourselves and believe about ourselves is the start of feeling better and making better decisions.
Remember, thoughts become words; words dictate how we feel, and how we think of ourselves often dictates our behavior.
We can usually improve the quality of our lives by changing our inner dialogue to reflect how we show up in the world – and in most cases – how the world shows up in us.
I literally could go on for days about how much I learned from this book. So for the sake of time, I’ll just say if you haven’t, read it. This book is very insightful and is likely to help anyone looking to gain clarity on how to heal and move forward in a healthy way.
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Until next time!
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