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In this book review, I’ll detail why When You’re Ready, This Is How You Heal by Brianna Wiest became one of my faves and gets a five star review. This book is one that I’d wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone looking for simple advice on how to do life. It perfectly sums up the most significant lessons learned following years of therapy and dozens of self-help books.
So, if you only read one book in 2023, this would be the one to dive into. Brianna Wiest’s book is a comprehensive guide on how to take measurable steps toward self-healing, thoughtfully providing a roadmap for finding inner peace and practical tips for tangible transformation.
Read also: The Body Keeps the Score Book Review
Memorable Quotes from the Book
BRIANNA WIEST (When you’re ready this is how you heal)“We cannot keep running in circles and expect our lives to blossom, we have to stay where we are and have the courage to heal what’s broken within us before turning to yet another outside source to mend the damage. When we live like this, we exist in a constant state of running from ourselves.”
“We can start over right where we are, because at any time, we can change the way we see ourselves and our lives, and that’s all healing is anyway.”
BRIANNA WIEST (When you’re ready this is how you heal)
“No matter where your life takes you, you are always with you – until the very end. Nobody else can save you from yourself.”
BRIANNA WIEST (When you’re ready this is how you heal)
“The point was never that you adjusted everything around you until it was made perfect, but that you adjusted the way you see everything until you realize that it is enough, and it always has been.”
BRIANNA WIEST (When you’re ready this is how you heal)
“It’s about finding the kind of support that’s right for you – the trainer, the therapist, the life coach – whatever is needed for your own unique journey.”
BRIANNA WIEST (When you’re ready this is how you heal)
“It’s about rediscovering the little joys of life – the long baths, the page turning novels, the quiet Saturday mornings, the clean sheets, the stars, the city lights, the ocean – and realizing that they were the big things all along.”
BRIANNA WIEST (When you’re ready this is how you heal)
“Growth is hard. Sometimes, it’s down right terrifying. It requires us to take an honest look at ourselves, to abandon what we’ve known, and to suspend ourselves in uncertainty without knowing when we’ll ever find the next step.”
BRIANNA WIEST (When you’re ready this is how you heal)
“What this means is that we will remain what we have always been unless we consciously choose to become something else. Sure, everyone evolves and adapts over time, but if you aren’t intentional about it, you’ll end up the product of who and what is around you as opposed to an authentic expression of who you really are.”
BRIANNA WIEST (When you’re ready this is how you heal)
“Any change, no matter how positive, will be uncomfortable until it is also familiar. Any time you’re looking to make a significant positive change in your life, a mindset shift must accompany it. If you don’t believe you deserve good, you’ll limit your capacity for experiencing good things. If you’re not used to life being easy, you’ll make it hard to anchor yourself back down to what you’re familiar with.”
BRIANNA WIEST (When you’re ready this is how you heal)
“This moment is not your life, this is a moment in your life,”
BRIANNA WIEST (When you’re ready this is how you heal)
My Key Takeaways
1. We have to learn to be happy with who we are and where we are.
Ever heard of the term “destination happiness?” In a nutshell, it’s a preoccupation with finding happiness everywhere else but where you are currently.
Common expressions like “I’ll be happy when…” or “Everything will be better once…” often hinder us from looking honestly at ourselves and where we are in the present moment.
Staying stagnant in a mental space that ultimately where who we are right now and what we have in this present moment will never be enough, no matter how much things change.
We’re not happy with our jobs but fear losing the security that it offers – so we plan a move to a different state, but when we get there, not only are we unfulfilled, but now we’re unfulfilled and lonely.
We become overwhelmed and stressed by the countless unhealthy attachments disguised as relationships we’ve co-created. But instead of facing the fact that we may need to cut ties with certain people and learn what we can change about ourselves to create healthier relationships, we suppress our true feelings, wants, and needs, blame everyone around us for our unhappiness and continue to engage in the same cycles – hoping something magically changes.
The bottom line is that we all desire peace and happiness but are often complicit in our suffering.
2. Just start where you are.
Start paying attention to what you think and how you feel. Because thoughts control how we feel about ourselves, those feelings affect how we treat ourselves, and what we accept from others.
The reality is that once you master self-awareness and learn how to be more authentic in your life – things around you will naturally evolve in the way that best suits you, the real you.
You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life that brings you joy. But true transformation starts within. And no matter how much we try, our outer world will always reflect what’s happening within.
2. Find what works best for you and do more of that.
Many people may benefit significantly from therapy, while others may resonate better with the guidance of a life coach, or confiding in a well-intentioned, trusted friend.
Some have made great strides in dedicating themselves to their healing by reading, listening to podcasts, and learning about psychology and healthy coping skills.
But, at the end of the day the most helpful thing you can do for yourself is start with figuring out what works best for you. Only you know what resonates best based on your specific history and your emotional capacity.
There are some who become more triggered and destabilized in therapy and others who benefit greatly from it.
There are others who benefit greatly from their own self-paced journey, while others lack the disciple or the know how to completely at it alone.
Bottom line, there is no one size fits all approach to healing. If it helps you that’s all the proof you need.
3. “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ultimately, this phrase encourages self-reflection and reminds us that we can shape our experiences by how we view them.
By challenging ourselves to look at situations and people more open-mindedly, we can discover new opportunities and possibilities.
It is also a lesson in understanding that our thoughts can shape how we interact with the world, so changing our perspective may also lead to better relationships and improved well-being.
Since our thoughts can influence our interactions with the world around us, being willing to challenge ourselves to examine these perspectives can lead to improved relationships and greater happiness.
This phrase encourages us to take time for self-reflection and recognize that our life experiences can be shaped by how we view them.
Through this practice, we can learn to be more open-minded and embrace new opportunities that come our way.
4. To be truly happy and at peace, we have to do the hard job of looking at ourselves.
To be truly happy and at peace, we have to do the hard job of looking at ourselves.
This means looking honestly at our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. We have to be willing to confront our insecurities, flaws, and accomplishments.
Only by taking an honest look at ourselves can we truly understand our weaknesses and strengths and use that understanding to make positive changes in our lives.
We also have to be open to receiving feedback from others, as this can help us gain valuable insight into our behavior and motivations.
Finally, we must take action to make the changes necessary to become our best selves. Only then can we achieve true happiness and inner peace.
Like really studying our lives, understanding our patterns, and our triggers. Our mindsets and our beliefs. The stories that society told us about who we are…the ones that we wholeheartedly believe.
Who would we be if we stripped all of that away? And started to understand who we would be if the world had not shaped us into who we ultimately became.
The process of learning and then unlearning is challenging because it’s much easier to accept things as they are than to force change.
Change is necessary. And growth is inevitable.
But if we’re not careful, just as time will pass anyway, we will change regardless.
So, conscious growth is the key.
5. You will likely find the most peace by getting to a place where you can consciously create a life that mirrors who you are, the most authentic version of you.
And one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do is separate who you are from the identity you created before you knew…you.
But once you learn what feeds your soul, your goal becomes saying no to everything that isn’t that.
And no matter how hard it gets, trust you’ll be ok.
Because, ultimately, you are the author and creator of your story.
You need to know that you’re worthy and deserve a life that makes you feel whole.
But that part…can only come from you.
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Until next time!
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